Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Patiently Parenting

When you are the Aunt or the Grandma or the God Mom you tend to want all your time with your precious kids to be happy and carefree and without that nasty parenting stuff they get at home. It's my job to take him to baseball games and let him stay up past his bedtime.


Every so often I have to take a deep breath and be the adult. I had a couple of those moments this weekend.

The one where we discussed internet safety I want to share here. I'm hoping for kudos or advice on how to follow up.

My Godson needed to be warned that there are creepy people out there on the World Wide Web. And that he doesn't need to have contact with those people.


One of these is a 52 year old fellow that he has shared "comments" with concerning videos of him drumming on his YouTube account.

My Godson has become a pretty decent drummer for a 14 year old.He posts videos of him playing on his YouTube account. I'm proud of him and his talent and am thrilled he not only knows how to drum so well but that he has mastered the YouTube technology. I am not so happy about who may be viewing the videos and encouraging him.

So when I finally put the pieces together that this "encourager" was a 52 year old man in Phoenix who was a bar band drummer I put my foot down. I explained to my Godson that even though his "friend" on line might be a safe bet he needed to discontinue his visiting with him and block him immediately.

There was a bit of a fuss from him and much defense of his "friend" who was just being nice.

I explained that if this older man were someone that wanted to lure him to Phoenix he wasn't going to be rude to him...he was going to compliment him and tell him he could come to Phoenix anytime. And that if my Godson had any thought about running away to get there and see him he needed to put those thoughts out of his head immediately.

Why? I told him why in no uncertain terms.

Because I was not going to enjoy finding him buried in a shallow grave in the sand in Phoenix one day. And THAT was a possibility if he continued to talk to this older man online.
I was not going to spend years looking for him while he's locked in some guy's basement in Phoenix being abused or murdered. And that since it I was an adult who loves him very much, it was my job to explain this stuff to him and to try and protect him from harm.

Not everyone online was a good person and not everyone who asks to be your "friend' on Facebook is your friend. Not everyone who looks at your videos is someone that cares about how well you play the drums. Not everyone needs to know who you are or where you live.

I explained that he needed to go through his friends list and delete anyone who his Mama didn't know or that he had never met or talked with in person. And that if he didn't whittle his friends list down from near 800 to 600 in the next couple days, his Mama and I would either delete his online accounts or stand over his shoulder and go through - one by one - his list of contacts until we felt comfortable with it.

How'd I do? What else should I do?

1 comment:

Leesa said...

Not fun times at your house! This is a scary time for raising internet-savvy kids. Unlike us, when we could mostly eradicate all proof of our foolishness to shield future progeny/generations from our own idiocy, now it's next to impossible. Maybe a new form of "if you can't do it within your mom's presence, then you shouldn't be doing it". So hard - feels like you are killing their innocence to protect them. Hang tough!